(Source: hilarioushumorfromouterspace)
waitress assigned kin
As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.
I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”
abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)
(Source: etct)
(Source: artfreyparis)
fuck jobs i just wanna be a gay vampire
nayx:
nice penis idiot
All hills are silent if you think about it
Not the ones alive with the sound of fuckin music, bitch
Sorry I don’t talk or look at theater kids
(Source: unclefather)
I have made peace with the fact my comics will never reach the emotional depths of Tails Gets Trolled.
Look at this. These are only tiny bits and they blow anything I got out of the water!!!
might i add
Uh oh! Baby Boy is on Tumblr! I’m John Mulaney and this is my first post. I am silly but also a guys’ guy. This is my best photo.
I cant believe this is actually john mulaney and not a parody blog created for the sole purpose of making this shitpost
Thomas A. Gieseke, 1989
Bruce Springsteen by Lynn Goldsmith
Shelley Duvall eats cotton candy on the set of Brewster McCloud (1970)
(Source: maril3.rssing.com)
